


Hope is Something You Give Yourself

by Autistic_Zuko



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Angst with a Happy Ending, Appa is a service dog, Autism, Autistic Zuko (Avatar), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Dog Appa (Avatar), F/F, F/M, Gay Zuko (Avatar), I wanted more autistic zuko, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Iroh Adopts Zuko (Avatar), Iroh adopts Azula, Iroh is a Good Uncle (Avatar), Kataang - Freeform, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Lu Ten (Avatar) Lives, M/M, Multi, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Pansexual Aang (Avatar), Partially Deaf Zuko (Avatar), Self-Harm, Sensory Processing Disorder, Sokka (Avatar) Has ADHD, Stimming, Ursa is dead, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, asexual Katara, autistic aang, bare with me, flappy happy zuko, jet might make an appearance, momo is a cat, no cishets here sir, still not sure how a03 works, toph is nonbinary, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29857452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autistic_Zuko/pseuds/Autistic_Zuko
Summary: "Hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength." -Uncle IrohAfter Ozai is arrested (and shot lolol) for badly burning Zuko, Iroh takes in and adopts Zuko and Azula. With Lu Ten's help, Iroh saves enough money to move the family to Ba Sing Se, away from the bad memories of Caldera City. Iroh opens up the Jasmine Dragon and the siblings work there after school. The pair go to Ba Sing Se High, Zuko as a senior and Azula as a sophomore. There, Zuko meets the Gaang and falls for the loveable and excitable Sokka. Azula on the other hand sets her sights on Ty Lee and Mai.Zuko and Aang are autistic because I said so, and Sokka has adhd. Also, Toph is nonbinary and uses she/they pronouns.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Azula/Mai/Ty Lee, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 79





	1. Before (ONE)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm autistic and wanted more autistic Zuko representation. I'm not sure how long my hyperfocus will last so apologies in advance if I don't keep with this.  
> This first chapter will be Zuko and Azula's life before Ozai is imprisoned.  
> Trigger warnings: ableism, slurs, physical abuse described in detail.

The rain pelted against the hospital room's windows as if it were trying to break through the glass and get in. The wind howled and yet it wasn't as loud as Ursa's screams as she pushed and pushed. Her usually cold husband by her side, gripping tightly to her hand as if he were afraid that if he let go of her hand, she would slip away and die. Had Ursa not been focused on forcing her son out of her, she would have seen the concern etched into her husband Ozai's usually passive face. For the first time in his life, Ozai found that he didn't care if he appeared weak to others; he only cared about the health of Ursa and their first child, Zuko.

They had been told that they'd be having a boy, and that - from what they could tell from the ultrasound - he would be a perfectly healthy boy. The doctor had even commented that the fetus was in the perfect position. He had been optimistic about it being an easy birth. And then it wasn't.

"He's breeching!"

* * *

Zuko was three years old and still had yet to talk. He wouldn't look people in the eyes and would scream as if he were in pain and push his hands against his ears whenever the noise in a room grew to a certain level. He would stare at the ground when walking with his arms outstretched by his sides, his fingers fluttering as if they were hummingbirds. When Zuko got happy, he would flap his hands and squeal and stomp his feet as if marching in place. Ursa found it endearing, Ozai found it disturbing. 

"He's a damn freak," Ozai complained to his older brother, Iroh. Ursa was busy with Zuko and Iroh's son Lu Ten. The trio were at the turtleduck pond, out of earshot.

"You are too harsh, brother," Iroh responded, taking a sip of his tea as he watched Zuko happily flap after feeding one of the turtleducklings. 

"He's an embarrassment." Ozai huffed.

At this, Iroh turned to his younger brother, "He is a toddler, Ozai. You must be patient with him. He will develop in his own time." 

Ozai glared, "Easy for you to say, _brother._ " he scoffed, "Your son is normal. Mine is a damn retard." Ozai looked to his wife, now pregnant with their second child. "The next one will be better."

Iroh took a deep breath to calm himself. Since Zuko had turned a year old, Ozai had been becoming more and more cold. There was a cruelness in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Iroh wondered what happened to the man he watched happily weeping as he held his newborn son in his arms. Iroh didn't want to believe his brother would ever harm the child, but it sent a shiver down his spine how Ozai spoke of Zuko. He feared Ozai would shun Zuko once Azula was born, which was any day now.

"Zuko is still so young, it's impossible to know how he will be when he ages. Give it time, he'll grow out of this." Iroh replied, managing to keep the anger out of his voice as he spoke. 

"He better, I will _not_ have a disappointment for a son." With that, Ozai stood from his chair and stormed into the house, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Zuko was six years old now, and Azula was four. Zuko doted on his baby sister as if she were his whole world. It hurt that Father loved Azula more, but Zuko would never allow his sister to know that it upset him. He understood that he was a failure, and that his sister was really just better than him without even trying. Azula had said her first word before Zuko was even talking. She had been 10 months old and screamed "no" when she saw Ozai hit Zuko for spitting out the banana that Ozai had forced him to eat. Ozai whipped around and stared at the girl before bursting into laughter. 

"Even your infant sister can talk," Ozai had sneered at Zuko.

Ursa grabbed the children and left to stay at Iroh's for a week after that. She wouldn't tell Iroh what happened, and he knew it was no use to push the issue. Zuko still couldn't speak or write, so Iroh was left in the dark. Ozai called her and apologized, explaining it was just in the heat of the moment and that he had had a bad day at work and Zuko misbehaving was the straw that broke the camel's back. He swore it would never happen again. And she believed him. True to his word, he didn't hit Zuko again. But he hurt Zuko in other ways, more subtle ways that didn't leave physical marks. 

"Zuko, honey, please put on your jacket." Ursa urged, holding his jacket out for him. 

"Hurts!" Zuko cried, pushing the jacket away. 

Ursa had convinced Ozai to allow Zuko to see a child psychologist. At six years old, Zuko still didn't speak much. He still wouldn't make eye contact. He'd throw himself to the ground and pound his fists into his head when frustrated and scream until his voice was hoarse. Other children avoided him and he'd run out of class at school, often having to be chased down by teachers. They insisted that Ursa get Zuko assessed for autism. Ozai scoffed at the idea, stating he just needed to be punished for his behaviour, but he finally agreed to it after the school threatened to get CPS involved. 

"It's cold outside, my turtleduck, please wear your jacket." Ursa pleaded, "You'll get sick if you don't." 

"Mama," Azula pulled on Ursa's shirt, "Zuzu says that one is prickly." 

Ursa turned to Azula, "He told you that?" 

Azula nodded, "He likes his turtleduck one. It's soft." 

Ursa sighed and stood from her crouching position, "Do you know where it is, Zuko?" 

Zuko nodded and darted to his closet then returned with his beloved turtleduck sweater on, "Autobots, roll out." Zuko grinned.

Ursa snorted in amusement. Zuko didn't talk often, but when he did it was usually lines he borrowed from things he saw or heard. She had googled it to find out why and found out it was something called echolalia. Though they weren't Zuko's own words, she was happy nonetheless he had some way to communicate. 

* * *

Zuko was ten years old. He was talking now, and often his father scolded him for talking so much. It made his mom and dad fight when he would yell at Zuko for talking so much.

"You were the one so determined to get him talking, and now you don't even want him to?!" his mother would yell.

"If I had known he wouldn't shut up about turtleducks then I would have taken his vocal chords out myself!" 

Whenever they would fight, Azula would take Zuko's hand and drag him outside to the turtleduck pond. She knew it was hard for him to do much of anything when he was overstimulated, and she also knew turtleducks would help him calm down and prevent a meltdown. She hadn't ever been told about Zuko's autism, and neither had Zuko, but the two had found his diagnostic papers one day and confronted their mother. She sat them down and explained to them what autism was and wasn't, and that it's why Zuko isn't like the other kids. Iroh had taken up the mantle to learn everything he could about autism to better help his nephew, and shared everything he learned with Ursa. Ozai refused to talk about it. They weren't even allowed to utter the word 'autism' in front of him. Uncle Iroh told Zuko that his autism was a gift, but just like all things in life there were some things about autism that made life harder for Zuko. 

"Are you verbal, Zuzu?" Azula asked, careful to keep her voice quiet so as to not add any more unnecessary stimuli to Zuko's senses.

Zuko shook his head. He was rocking back and forth with his knees pulled to his chest and his hands in his hair. His eyes were screwed shut as he rocked, absently pulling hard on his shaggy black hair. Azula took hold of Zuko's arms, making sure to hold them tightly the way he liked as she coaxed him from pulling at his hair. She let go of one hand - which immediately went back to tugging his hair - and held the other in both of hers'. Using both hands, she gently but firmly wrapped her hands around and squeezed, starting at his wrist and going up his forearm. With each squeeze, she would count. Once she'd reach the top of his arm, she would start the count again and squeeze down until reaching his wrist. Once she was done, Azula took Zuko's other hand and repeated. She did this to each arm twice before Zuko calmed down and was able to speak.

"Why doesn't he love me?" Zuko asked, his eyes still closed.

"I don't know," Azula admitted, "Mother says he does, but I think she's just lying to herself." 

"Why would she do that?" Zuko questioned, opening his eyes to watch the turtleducks swim.

"She's too weak to admit it to herself." 

"Mom isn't weak!" Zuko near shouted.

"I think she is," Azula shrugged, "he's never nice to you. She's supposed to protect you from mean people." 

Zuko furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean protect me?" 

Azula rolled her eyes, "Zuzu-"

Zuko interrupted her, "No, I mean she's supposed to protect _us_ , not just me." 

Azula snorted, "I don't need protecting, Zuzu. I can take care of myself."

"Can I protect you though?" Zuko asked with a soft voice, looking at her, though not meeting her eyes. Azula knew that her brother desperately needed to feel needed.

"I doubt you'll ever need to," she started, and Zuko's face fell, " _But_ , you may if I ever do." 

* * *

It was Zuko's thirteenth birthday, and everything was _wrong._ His mother had been missing now for three days, and his father was angrier than ever. He was angry enough he had even yelled at Azula. Father _never_ yelled at Azula. She always protected Zuko when father would yell at him. He remembered being ten and Azula giving him permission to protect her if the time ever arose.

"Leave her alone! She's done nothing wrong!" 

Zuko was shaking, though he wasn't sure if it was with rage or fear. His father turned to Zuko, his face unreadable. 

"What did you just say?" Ozai's voice was calm and level. Somehow, this scared Zuko more than any time his father had ever raised his voice.

Zuko looked at Azula, remembering all the times she had jumped to his defense both at home and at school. He looked back to his father, "I said leave her alone." 

"Your mother isn't here to protect you now, you worthless, fucking retard." Ozai snarled, grabbing Zuko hard and pulling him out of his chair. 

"Father!" Azula yelled, "Please don't, he didn't mean to. Don't hurt Zuko!" 

Ozai ignored her pleading and practically dragged Zuko to the kitchen. Azula's yelling, the pain of his father's grip on his arm, and his mother's disappearance was enough to throw Zuko into a meltdown. He screamed and bit at his father's hand, swatting it and pulling and fighting. Ozai only pulled harder and Zuko was faintly aware of a popping sensation in his shoulder but he continued to struggle. Azula was following them, yelling and pulling on Ozai to let go of Zuko, but their father roughly shoved her aside and she fell hard on her shoulder, shouting in pain.

Ozai pulled Zuko to the stove and turned the heat to high. Once the burner was bright red, Ozai spoke, "You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." 

"Father! Please-" Azula screamed before Ozai slammed Zuko's face onto the burner. 

At first, Zuko didn't feel anything. But that only lasted a fraction of a second before white hot pain radiated through his entire face. His arms flailed in an attempt to get his father off of him, but he was no match against a grown man. Zuko could smell burning hair and cooking meat. He could hear the sizzling as his flesh began to slough away from the high intensity of the heat. His ears rang and he couldn't see. He wasn't even sure if the screaming he heard was from him.

Azula relentlessly beat against their father's back with her fists, kicking him and screaming in an attempt to get him off of Zuko. Ozai remained stiff as a board and didn't react in the slightest to her attacks. Azula ran to the living room and out the front door. She spotted a police cruiser driving down the road and ran out in front of it. The officer slammed on the brakes and got out of the car to scold her. 

"HELP!" she screamed, "HE'S KILLING HIM! HE'S KILLING MY BROTHER!"

The cop straightened up, "Who? Who is killing your brother?" 

Azula pointed at her house, "HELP HIM!" she started for the house, "COME HELP HIM!" 

The officer followed after her and they raced into the house. The smell of burning flesh and hair was overwhelming and the screaming sounded guttural and animalistic. Azula ran to the kitchen with the cop close behind. Ozai was still holding Zuko against the stove, and his screams had now subsided. Zuko was silent and limp. 

"YOU KILLED HIM!" Azula screamed, "YOU KILLED HIM YOU KILLED HIM YOU KILLED HIM!"

A gunshot rang through the house, but all Azula could focus on was Zuko. Her father dropped to the ground but she just clambered over him and grabbed Zuko's shoulders and attempted to pull him off the stove. His flesh was melted to it. She pulled harder and he detached. Azula held tightly to her brother, and felt he was still breathing. She held him as she screamed until she could taste blood. Azula didn't let go even when the paramedics were trying to get Zuko into the ambulance. She had to be sedated before she would let go. 

* * *

Iroh had taken Lu Ten on a vacation as a graduation gift. Much to Iroh's delight, Lu Ten suggested they go to Ember Island and only turn their phones on if they had an emergency. Iroh didn't think in a million years they would be an emergency at home. When the pair turned their cellphones back on on the last day of their vacation, they saw that both of them had hundreds of notifications. Iroh felt a heavy weight slam into his chest as he read the first message informing him Ursa had gone missing. Lu Ten had messages from friends, asking him if it was really true his uncle had just killed his cousin. 

"Dad," Lu Ten started.

"One moment, Son," Iroh muttered, reading more messages about Ursa's disappearance. 

"Dad, this is really important." 

"Hold on-" Iroh replied, "Your aunt is missing and I'm trying to learn as much as I can-"

"Zuko is dead." Lu Ten blurted, which gave him Iroh's immediate attention.

"What-" Iroh turned to his son and saw tears streaming down his face.

"M-my friends are all saying Uncle Ozai... k-killed Zuko." 

Iroh snatched Lu Ten's phone out of his hands and began to read the messages. Tears filled his eyes, "No, no, this can't be. My brother would never... not a child.." 

Iroh's phone rang and he quickly answered, shoving Lu Ten's phone back to him, "Hello?" 

The person on the other side audibly sighed in relief, "Is this Iroh Sozin?" 

"Y-yes, it is. Who.. who is this?"

"This is Lin Huang at Caldera Hospital." the voice replied, "Your niece told us you were their emergency contact?" 

"Yes," Iroh confirmed, running a hand down his beard, "Are they okay? What's happening?"

"Azula is fine, she only had a dislocated shoulder. Your nephew Zuko though-"

"Is he alive?" Iroh choked out, which seemed to take Lin by surprise.

"Y-yes, Sir." She replied, and Iroh cried happy tears, "He's not in good shape though. He's in the ICU right now with severe third degree burns. He also had a dislocated shoulder like Azula, though hers was due to impact, and Zuko's arm had been pulled hard enough to dislocate the shoulder from the socket." 

"Thank Agni Zuko is alive," Iroh looked at Lu Ten as he said this, flashing him a thumbs up. "I will be there as soon as I can. Can you.. can you tell me what exactly happened?"

"I'm sorry, I just work at the desk..." 

Iroh sighed, "It's alright, thank you. May Agni bless you." 

"You as well, Mr. Sozin." Lin replied earnestly.


	2. Now (TWO)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: ableism, describing meltdowns

"Hey Zuzu, you got everything you need?" Azula asked.

Zuko nodded, but went through his backpack to check anyways, listing everything off aloud, "Headphones, communication cards, sensory toys, and then school bullshit." He zipped up his backpack and glanced at his sister, "You got your schedule?" 

Azula scoffed, "I already have my schedule memorized. I won't need it." 

Zuko shook his head, "No idea how you do that."

Azula rolled her eyes, "It's _easy_ , Zuzu. It's only seven things to remember." she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, "Besides, we already took a tour after your IEP meeting. I made sure to pay attention to where my classes were." 

Zuko chuckled, "Yeah, sounds about right."

Azula's left eyebrow flew up, "And what do you mean by that, dear brother?" 

Zuko floundered, "O-oh no, Azula that was a compliment. I think. I meant for it to be. Because you're so much better at staying organized than I am." 

"Oh, nephew," Iroh laughed, "Azula was feigning insult." 

"I hate when you do that. You know that." Zuko grumbled, but his smile was evident. 

Azula smiled back, "It's what sisters are for, Zuko." 

"You two ready for your first day?" Iroh asked, though Zuko sensed it was directed more at him.

"I'm never ready for going into loud, crowded, smelly places." Zuko replied honestly which earned a snicker from Azula. 

"Oh?" Iroh asked, "You don't enjoy the smell of children who have yet to learn what deodorant is?" 

Zuko and Azula laughed and Iroh grinned. The old man was clearly proud of himself whenever he made the pair laugh. 

Iroh clapped his hands together, "Let's get going, shall we?" 

* * *

_Oh fuck this, it's so fucking crowded._ Zuko thought to himself as he traversed through the halls. The school had seemed massive when it was just Uncle, Azula, the SpEd teacher, and himself in the building, but now it seemed like an impossible labyrinth. Zuko snorted in amusement picturing Jareth the Goblin King as the principal. _Labyrinth_ had been one of his mother's favourite movies, and the two would watch it together often while she was on maternity leave and his father was at work. Zuko smiled fondly at the memory. He had been terrified of Jareth and the puppets but his mother swore to him she would protect him from them. Zuko was more scared of them coming for baby Azula however, and he didn't understand why his mother cried when he told her as much. She had explained to him that sometimes people cry happy tears, and that he had done nothing wrong. In fact, she said that she was proud of Zuko and that he would be the best big brother once Azula was born. 

Zuko was pulled out his head when someone collided into him, causing him to trip and fall. 

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry-" a male voice apologized.

Zuko had already been overwhelmed, but the sudden collision threw him over the edge. He stayed on the ground, his hands covering the back of his head and pulling at the hair. He was aware he was making noise and bringing attention to himself, but he couldn't stop the strangled noises leaving his mouth or the tears from spilling. 

_Too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much-_

Hands attempted to stop Zuko from pulling his hair which only caused him to panic more. He had only been in the school for a whopping ten minutes and he was already having a meltdown. Azula was probably already in her class, and the SpEd room was on the floor below.

"Breathe through your nose and out your mouth like you're blowing out a candle," the same male voice spoke, his tone soft and voice quiet, "You've got this, buddy. In through your nose and out your mouth."

Zuko realized that the hands that had been grabbing him were no longer there. He did as the voice instructed but still everything was too loud and too much. At least he wasn't being touched anymore. He could hear people talking around him and whispers, but he couldn't process the words, his brain wouldn't allow him to process anyone's words but whoever was trying to calm him down. 

"Here, take this, you're gonna pull your hair out, man." 

Zuko glanced to where the voice was coming from and saw a guy around his age, squatting down next to him. He had dark skin and brown hair that was pulled back into a wolftail and the sides of his head were buzzed. The guy didn't even flinch when he saw the massive scar covering half of Zuko's face. He just held out a squishy, pink rubber ball that was covered in stretchy tendrils. Zuko took it in his hands and rubbed it between his hands as he rocked. He hummed contentedly at the sensation of the soft rubber on his hands. He twisted and picked at the tendrils and he felt himself gradually calm down. 

"See, that's a lot less painful, right?" The guy asked with a soft smile. 

Not wanting to be rude, Zuko nodded. His rocking slowed until it was just barely noticeable. Meltdowns always wiped him out though, and he knew that there was no way in hell he'd be verbal - at least not for a while. Zuko briefly wondered if he'd be lucky enough that the guy knew some basic sign language. He didn't have a communication card that said 'thank you' and he knew that his brain would be too fried to type. But still, Zuko felt he needed to thank this guy. Most people just watched whenever Zuko would have a meltdown - save for his sister and uncle - and he wasn't used to people outside of his family actually helping. Even when they did try to help, it would usually exacerbate the meltdown because they didn't know what they were doing. This guy actually knew exactly how to help Zuko without even needing to ask. 

The guy put his hand on the back of his neck, suddenly awkward now that he had Zuko's full attention, "You uh... want me to walk you to the special ed room? They have a sensory room, and that's where my little sister's boyfriend goes after he has meltdowns." 

Zuko blinked. This guy actually knew another autistic person? An autistic person in a relationship? Zuko knew it wasn't uncommon at all, but he struggled with just keeping friends, let alone a significant other. It was new to him. In Caldera, he was only one of a small handful of autistic kids. Despite being a large city, there weren't a lot of disabled people. It was a city filled with rich elites who would rather die than let their disabled family members be seen by the public eye. While physically disabled people weren't often ostracized, Zuko suspected it was only because of the recent war. Many soldiers came back with missing limbs, or spinal injuries that left them paralyzed. However, when it came to intellectual or developmental disabilities, people weren't as accepting. 

Realizing he hadn't replied yet, Zuko nodded. 

"Cool, I was actually heading there anyways. I'm a peer mentor," The guy explained when he saw Zuko's blank expression, "There's a class available where mainstream students can partner up with our peers in special education. It's to help include disabled students, though most neurotypical kids take it because it looks good on college applications. Oh! I'm Sokka, by the way." 

Zuko pulled his communication cards out of his pocket and flipped to the 'information' card that stated his name, address, emergency contacts, and medical information. He handed it to Sokka and pointed out his name.

"Zuko Sozin," Sokka read, then looked back up to Zuko, "Nice to meet you, buddy. C'mon, let's get going."

* * *

The sensory room was amazing. It was a space of about 10x10 feet. The floor was a soft rubber that squished under your feet ever slightly, similar to memory foam insoles. There were several bean bags of varying sizes and colours, a box of sensory toys, and a few weighted throws. There was also a weighted sleeping bag of sorts that Zuko crawled right into. He had placed a full sized weighted blanket on top for extra pressure. An Alexa plugged into the wall was quietly playing a violin cover of Carmen's Habanera, one of Zuko's favourite songs and instruments. Zuko's fingers flitted along to the song, rising and falling with the notes. There was a light projector as well, which Sokka had shown Zuko how to use. It had a remote and several settings to choose from. Staring up at the ceiling, Zuko watched the gentle ripple of blue light flowing like water, not dissimilar to a babbling creek. The lights gently pulsed and crawled across the ceiling. It was amazing how well the lights mimicked water, and Zuko found it incredibly peaceful.

The sensory room seemed to be in a whole other world, as very few of the sounds from the classroom penetrated its walls. The sound that did manage to get through was muffled enough that there was no chance of overstimulation, at least not for Zuko. The walls, he noticed, had sensory boards with assorted tactile, audible, and visual feedback. Though they piqued his interest, Zuko couldn't bring himself to get out from under the safety of the weighted cocoon. Maybe next time. 

Zuko thought of Sokka and his kindness and felt his stomach flutter. Zuko hoped the butterflies were just nerves. He had always had a hard time identifying his emotions, and crushes were especially hard to figure out. Often, Zuko just assumed the giddiness he felt was just new friend excitement, and he usually had to be told that it was actually a crush. Azula always knew before Zuko if he was crushing on someone, which he felt was entirely unfair. It was _his_ brain and heart damn it, why did she know when he didn't?

 _This better not be a fucking crush._ Zuko thought to himself. It had been literally one, single interaction. That's not enough to develop a crush. _Right? Nobody gets a crush from one ten minute interaction._ Zuko could feel himself starting to stress out again, so he shoved the thought away for later. Maybe he'd ask Uncle for advice. Uncle might just quote a proverb though and leave it to stew in Zuko's brain. Azula tried telling Uncle that Zuko was too literal for proverbs, but Uncle just smiled and said that Azula underestimated Zuko. Zuko agreed with Azula on the matter, but Uncle just again insisted Zuko didn't give himself enough credit. He should talk to Azula about it first. She was more sensible than Uncle, or at least not as confusing. Zuko still loved Iroh dearly, but the old man was an absolute enigma and Zuko suspected he would never fully understand his uncle. 

A knock on the sensory room's door brought Zuko out of his head. The door opened and Sokka popped his head in, "Hey Zuko, just wanted to tell you that if you're up for your next class, the bell just rang."

To Zuko's surprise, he was verbal, "Thank you." 

Sokka smiled, "Yeah, no problem, man. I'm neurodivergent too, though I'm not autistic, but I kinda get what it's like, y'know? Got diagnosed with Autism Lite and told to microdose meth to treat it." 

"It's not technically meth," Zuko blurted, before realizing Sokka was just kidding. 

Sokka laughed, "Yeah, but it's still a funny tweet. You ever seen that one?" 

Zuko had indeed seen that tweet, "Yeah. It's pretty good." he smiled. 

Sokka smiled too, "Hell yeah, brother." 

"You look _nothing_ like Hulk Hogan." Zuko joked, though he wasn't wrong.

"What? I'm not some giant, beefy white dude with badass facial hair?" Sokka replied, his hand on his chest, "And all this time I thought I was..." 

"He's six foot, seven inches tall," Zuko replied and Sokka blanched. 

"Nobody needs to be that fucking huge." 

"I guess he does," Zuko shrugged with a laugh.

Sokka laughed as well, "Yeah well, pretty sure he's a titan or something. Anyways, I gotta get to class now, but you gonna be good?"

Zuko sighed and shimmied out of the weighted cocoon, "Yeah, I should get to class too." 

"Good man," Sokka replied, slapping the doorframe, "What class you got?" 

Zuko struggled to fish his schedule out of his pocket and opened it up, "Uh, I have History with..." Zuko brought the paper closer so he could read better, "Jiàoshì Piandao." 

Sokka grinned widely, "Then I might as well walk with you after you get your excuse note from Jiàoshì Fung." 

Zuko thought for a moment, "You're not just... pitying me, are you?" 

Sokka looked taken aback, "No way. I mean, yeah I don't know you that well but uh..." Sokka blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I'd like to." 

Zuko blushed in return, "Yeah, me too. Get to know you better as well, that is." 

Sokka stuck his hand out to Zuko, "So, pals it is?" 

Zuko's heart pounded in his chest as he took hold of Sokka's hand, "Pals it is." 

_I can't believe I made a friend all because of a meltdown._

* * *

Zuko pulled out his phone, seeing as it was lunchtime, and sent Azula a quick text.

**Zuko: I think I have a friend??**

Azula replied quickly.

**Azula: You made quick work of that, Zuzu. However, I have made two.**

Zuko snorted. Typical Azula. Of course she would make two friends quickly.

**Azula: They are quite the polar opposites, those two. It's amusing. A goth girl named Mai and a bubbly cheerleader gymnast named Ty Lee. They are quite the pair.**

**Zuko: Mine is named Sokka. He's from the Southern Water Tribe. He has ADHD and helped me through a meltdown. He has a sister named Katara and she's dating an autistic kid named Aang, that's why he knew how to hlep me.**

**Zuko: *help**

**Azula: You had a meltdown? Are you okay? What was it about? Did someone hurt you? Because you know I will kill them for you if you say the word.**

**Azula: Also.... hlep. Haha.**

Zuko glared at his phone, hoping his sister could feel it. 

**Zuko: So far you're the only one bullying me today.**

**Azula: Oh Zuzu, poor, sweet Zuzu. So bullied by his sister. It's not like I learned how to crochet a turtleduck for you because you couldn't find a toy turtleduck.**

She had indeed crocheted a turtleduck for Zuko with their great aunts Lo and Li's help. The twins weren't actually blood relatives, but Uncle Iroh admitted he didn't remember a time without their presence in the family. The old women had to be ancient, but they were still travelling the world together as if they were still in their 20s. Neither sister ever married, both agreeing men were too much of a hassle to bother with. When Azula had come out as a lesbian however, the twins happily regaled her with stories of "gal pals". Zuko was just glad they hadn't actually directly told him about it. Azula however was more than happy to tell Zuko every detail, claiming that if she had to know then he did as well. 

**Zuko: I love that turtleduck and I'm glad Lo and Li's stories of orgy parties didn't taint him for me.**

**Azula: Agni, that was torture to have to sit through. I mean, they're basically our aunts. I don't want to picture them taking it from behind while eating out another woman.**

**Zuko: ...please don't remind me.**

**Azula: <3**

Zuko groaned and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He was done talking to Azula for today. Maybe forever. Depended on whether or not she'd remind him of more of the twins' tales of wild sex. 

"Hey, Zuko!" Sokka called out.

Zuko looked up to see Sokka sprinting towards him, his head lowered and arms pumping. He looked like he was a bull getting ready to gore a matador. Zuko waited to respond until Sokka was close enough he wouldn't have to yell.

"Hello," Zuko waved, "is this coincidental or did you seek me out?"

Sokka plopped down beside him, "Both I guess? I was hoping I'd find you. I had forgotten to ask for your number before class ended." 

That took Zuko by surprise. Sokka seemed to be earnest about wanting to be his friend. 

"Oh," is all he knew what to say. 

Sokka didn't seem to take offense by his lack of reaction though, and the two exchanged phones and added themselves to the other's contacts. Zuko typed his number, and added a turtleduck emoji next to his name before handing the phone back to Sokka. When Zuko got his phone back from Sokka, he saw that Sokka had added a snowflake emoji. 

"Why the snowflake?" Zuko asked.

"Southern water tribe, dude. Lots of snow. Like... it's all snow and ice actually." Sokka explained, "The hottest it ever got in my village was 20 degrees Fahrenheit." 

"That is..." Zuko laughed, "that is fucking insane! How do you guys stay warm enough?" 

Sokka shrugged, "Life finds a way." 

"Excuse me, Mr. Goldblum?" Zuko joked and Sokka doubled over laughing. Zuko didn't think it was _that_ funny. Sokka did quote one of his characters, but still... was it really that funny? 

"So man," Sokka started once he stopped laughing, "What's with the turtleduck emoji then?" 

Zuko blushed, "I really, really like turtleducks. They're actually a special interest of mine. Azula - that's my sister - made a crochet turtleduck for me as a late 13th birthday gift." 

She had made it for him to bring him some form of comfort in the hospital. He had actually been in a drug induced coma still when she had finished. When he was finally brought out of it, she handed it to him. He had cried, but found that only one eye still produced tears. Or saw, for that matter. He had no vison on the burned side of his face, and his hearing was abysmal in that ear. Zuko didn't realize he had started to rock until Sokka asked if he was okay.

"Hey, you good man? Did something I say or do upset you?" Sokka questioned.

Zuko waved him off, "It's okay, it wasn't you. Just... that was the worst time of my life." 

Zuko didn't miss that Sokka's eyes darted to his scar, but neither boy mentioned it.

"Well, it's over now, yeah?" Sokka replied optimistically, "So at least there's that. Right?" 

Zuko felt guilty, but he felt a twinge of anger at the statement, though he managed to stay calm, "It's never really gonna be over. Not until I die I guess." 

"You... wanna talk about it?" Sokka asked.

Zuko shook his head, "No, I have a therapist for that." 

"That's good," Sokka replied, "I mean, it's not good you don't want to tell me, I would listen. I mean-" 

Zuko smiled, though it was forced, "I know what you mean, man." 

"Thank Tui and La." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's Meltdown Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu7E3CLFZehNtdUaRUh8wg97ebWWhkflp
> 
> Also! Being white and American, I'm relying on google for a fair amount of information, so please feel free to correct anything I get wrong or misunderstand. I don't want to be disrespectful to any cultures, but most modern ATLA fics seem to be very Westernized even though the ATLA world itself is based off of various Asian, Native American, and other indigenous peoples' cultures. I didn't want to whitewash the characters or world, so I'm trying to keep this as true to the various cultures that I can.


End file.
